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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29196279">belladonna and nightshade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/combatwombat14/pseuds/combatwombat14'>combatwombat14</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Depression, F/M, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:20:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,634</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29196279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/combatwombat14/pseuds/combatwombat14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Atropa Belladonna. Deadly Nightshade. It was poisonous, sure, but it was sweet, wasn't it? Many things were like that. It was a contradiction, but Percy believed that they went hand in hand. It was the same with Zoe, after all; she'd died looking into his eyes with love, but never saying the words he wished to hear.</p><p>He good as died, the day she did. </p><p>(But Death was Sweet, too.)</p><p>Crossposted on Fanfiction.net. (one-shot! + epilogue)</p><p>TW: Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Damasen &amp; Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson &amp; Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Percy Jackson/Zoë Nightshade</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Belladonna and Nightshade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She can’t say the words, and it hurts her to see him like this.</p><p>Oh, how badly she just wants to say those three words, but as she dies, she can’t bring herself to. Her Lady is right there, and she’s too much of a coward.</p><p>The one time it mattered most, Zoe Nightshade is all out of courage.</p><p>She grabs her lover’s hand. It’s forbidden, she knows, but this is the absolute least she can do for him.</p><p>She stares into his eyes, those shimmering eyes of sea-green that shine in the moonlight.</p><p>Sparkling.</p><p>“I can see the stars, mi’lady,” she whispers, but she’s not looking up into the sky. “The stars...”</p><p><em>Of his eyes</em>.</p>
<hr/><p>When he was fourteen, Percy Jackson decided to plant a garden of Nightshades.</p><p>Katie Gardner – one of his best friends – had looked at him sceptically and questioned his motives. He answered, and the Daughter of Demeter had agreed immediately.</p><p>With Grover, he and Katie had grown the greatest Nightshade plantation the world had ever seen; after all, no one in their right minds would even bother with growing the plant, for its notorious poisonous properties.</p><p>Yet, it was unheard of, due to Percy’s project being hidden deep into the forests of Camp. It was a private endeavour, one dedicated to the death of Zoe Nightshade.</p><p>One dedicated to his love.</p><p>Then, Pollux had joined their cause when his brother, Castor, had died during the Battle of the Labyrinth. As a son of Dionysus, Mr D, the Wine-God, the demigod had a penchant for growing fruits, much like the children of Demeter. The plantation had grown in such size, then, that the entire camp became aware of its existence.</p><p>And from then on, the once secluded project had become a project for the masses; every death in Camp had Nightshades grown in their honour. The first of which was Bianca – which a certain Son of Hades had cried to Percy in joy about, despite his insistence that it didn’t happen – and from then on, every Camper that had died in the Battle of the Labyrinth.</p><p>Then, he’d planted even more for every person who’d died at Manhattan. Silena Beauregard. Michael Yew. Luke... Luke Castellan.</p><p>Still, deep in his heart, Percy knew he had done this for one girl, and one girl only.</p><p>Zoe Nightshade.</p><p>Their relationship, fragile as it was, had been treasured by Percy even years after her death.</p><p>The Son of Poseidon remembered as she lay dying, her eyes shining and her once glossy hair had lost its luster as it was stained by the blood that pooled around her.</p><p>As she died, Zoe had never said those words, something Percy had resented. Not Zoe – just the fact that they weren’t able to <em>love</em>. They weren’t even able to say three words, for Artemis would have surely never forgiven the pair. And death was favourable to Artemis’s vengeance.</p><p>Percy sighed as he lay in his field of Nightshades, basking in the moonlight. Plucking one from the fields, he rolled it between his fingers. Undeniably, the Son of Poseidon had wondered, on multiple occasions, what Nightshades would taste like.</p><p>Undeniably, he had wondered how many were enough to finish the job so many others had desired to complete.</p><p>Percy kept at his motions, rolling the Nightshade Berry around in his palm, an enticing thought. Just a single fruit, and all he would taste would be sweetness before he’d be brought to Zoe again.</p><p>The Son of Poseidon stared at the literal opportunity sitting in his palm. Just one movement...</p><p>Then, he shook his head. This wouldn’t be what Zoe would have wanted.</p><p>And he knew that for sure. It had been a wish of his, after all – Hades had permitted Zoe to visit him in a dream of his. Sometimes, he’d daydream about it for hours on end, reminiscing about a possible life – or rather, after life – of him and Zoe.</p><p>The Daughter of Atlas had slapped him when he suggested his method of... meeting her again. Zoe had scolded him, and probably would have even further if he hadn’t silenced her with his lips.</p><p>She tasted sweet.</p><p>Percy looked at the berry sitting in his palm, and in one movement, he crushed it within his hand. It wasn’t the time for this.</p><p>He’d meet Zoe the way he would.</p>
<hr/><p>“Hey, Zoe.”</p><p>The Daughter of Atlas smiled as she heard the voice of her lover, Percy Jackson, ring through the air.</p><p>Never in a dozen lifetimes would she have imagined it to be possible to fall in love with a male, let alone a Son of Poseidon, after what Herakles and Orion had done – yet here she was, infatuated with a male hero.</p><p>Surprisingly, none of her Huntresses in Elysium had objected to the relationship. A shocking revelation, but apparently the Hunters who’d died in Manhattan had enough of a look at the Son of Poseidon to approve of him.</p><p>Thank Artemis for that, Zoe thought.</p><p>“Percy!”</p><p>The demigod smiled widely at seeing Zoe again. It’d been like this for two months, with him anxiously waiting for her to appear in his dreams and with his lover appearing right on time. Then, they’d talk and talk and talk until they were wrapped up in each other’s embrace, falling asleep until they woke up and found themselves alone again.</p><p>So yeah. That was nice.</p><p>Zoe felt the air being knocked out of her as Percy barrelled into her with his larger frame. She couldn’t help but smile; he could be so cute when he wanted to be.</p><p>“Zoe!”</p><p>“You’ve said that already.”</p><p>She felt Percy’s face warm up as he blushed, and went to stroke his hair.</p><p>Her lover whined, and a pang hit Zoe as she remembered that this was entirely temporary. Come morning, they’d have to part, and no longer would she be held in his embrace, nor would he in hers. It was oddly reminiscent of the days on their quest years ago, when they’d sneak to each other under the darkness of night and take comfort in the presence of their lover.</p><p>No matter. As Zoe held Percy in her arms, she vowed to relish this while she could. For now, it was still a sweet dream, and she’d hold on to it.</p><p>“Love you, Zoe.”</p><p>The Daughter of Atlas felt a smile creep onto her face.</p><p>“Love you too, Percy.”</p><p>Even death couldn’t keep them apart.</p>
<hr/><p>Percy Jackson was sixteen when he stumbled into whatever the fuck this was.</p><p>The absolute information overload he’d received by a giant talking Goddess Wolf should have been enough for the Son of Neptune – that still sounded weird – but this... city, he supposed, was something else.</p><p>The demigod knew what Lupa had meant now – this New Rome was undeniably the living embodiment of Rome. While he’d never been into architechture, with his small pea-sized brain, anyone could tell this place was magnificent.</p><p>Percy walked the streets of Rome and got weird looks and shouts of <em>graecus</em>! But really didn’t care. Compared to his amnesia, insults really weren’t too concerning for him right now.</p><p>Frank and Hazel were visibly unnerved by the insults, though, and Percy had inquired into it, only to have the unclaimed demigod blatantly lie to him. The Son of Neptune had to supress a snort; Frank was undeniably inexperienced. Actually, he was supposed to be the same, but hey.</p><p>Amnesia was a bitch. He couldn’t remember a single thing besides being hacked at by Gorgons and probably having mild PTSD from Cheese-n-Wieners. Actually, he could, but the single word brought a pain to his heart that came out of nowhere.</p><p>Nightshade.</p><p>Instictively, Percy knew that he probably wasn’t talking about the fruit, but with his mind being as fucked as it was maybe he was. The problem was the pain that came with it – there was an obvious symbolic connection with the fruit that he himself was unaware of.</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye, the Son of Neptune caught sight of Reyna, the intimidating Daughter of Bellona who’d interrogated him and it turned out that she was involved in his life before <em>this</em>, and he’d destroyed her home. Oops, he guessed, but he didn’t actually know jack shit about anything right now.</p><p>“This is the Mess Hall.”</p><p>Percy was admittedly a bit weirded out at the fact that they sat on couches while eating. Still, everything was slightly weird here, even though it was amazing at the same time. Purple banners emblazoned with a SPQR insignia hung from the ceiling, and intricate carvings were visible even in a mundane area such as this.</p><p>Even weirder was the fact that food seemingly just showed up out of nowhere. It appeared in bowls and plates that sat empty one moment then filled to the brim the other.</p><p>Hazel must have caught his expression, because she stepped in to explain.</p><p>“Just wish for what you want, then it’ll come to you.”</p><p>The Son of Neptune stared at his plate and goblet for a second, before nodding slowly. Grabbing the latter, he imagined it filling with Blue Cherry Coke – for what reason, he still didn’t know, but it felt right – and <em>viola</em>! There it came.</p><p>Frank and Hazel looked at him a bit weirdly, but he shrugged it off. It felt right, and he trusted his gut, even when it came to something like his food.</p><p>For his main course, Percy screwed up his face in thought. He couldn’t think of anything really, so he just shrugged and let the waiters do it for him. He’d heard they knew what you wanted the most, anyway, so Percy decided to let them do what they would.</p><p>In his surprise, they hadn’t filled his plate with a beef brisket or roast chicken or mac and cheese or something that had appeared on every one else’s. Actually, his plate was left untouched.</p><p>Instead, his bowl filled with a fruit, some type of berry. It kept filling and filling, and started to overflow, and Percy had to hold out his palm to stop the constant influx of whatever it produced.</p><p>At first, the Son of Neptune would have guessed them to be blueberries. They were round and plump, but with another look Percy realised that the berries were definitively not blue. They were black, maybe a dark purple.</p><p>They were Nightshades.</p><p>In that moment, Percy’s head flashed in pain as an image filled his mind. Not a memory, just a image -  a face.</p><p>The face of a girl. Her nose was slightly upturned, her pupils an onyx black. Her skin was tan, not unlike Reyna’s – maybe that was why the latter’s face looked slightly familiar. Her hair shimmered and sparkled, while her lean figure was tensed, as if she were poised to strike.</p><p>Then, a name.</p><p><em>Zoe</em>.</p><p>Percy gasped and started panting as he was pulled back into the world. His head was swimming, and his emotions were going haywire. Confused, excited, elated, despaired, regretful, and above all, confused.</p><p>“What the hell was that, Jackson?”</p><p>The form of a certain latina Praetor stood over his body. His breath hitched for a second, before his heart plummeted. She wasn’t her. Zoe.</p><p>Reyna was beautiful, yes, but Zoe... was Zoe.</p><p>“I don’t know, Praetor,” Percy answered truthfully</p><p>Reyna looked at Percy critically. He was interesting. She’d keep an eye on him.</p>
<hr/><p>“That’s an interesting story, Perseus.”</p><p>Percy smiled. Sure, he felt dead inside, but smiling wasn’t that hard.</p><p>“It should have been.”</p><p>Damasen, to his surprise, laughed heartily, his voice booming, resonating throughout the entire hut.</p><p>“You are a cheeky demigod, Perseus,” the Gigante said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. He doubted he could remember the last time he did so, instead settling for derisive snorts. “It’ll be interesting to see you escape Tartarus, even if it is more than likely suicide.”</p><p>The Son of Poseidon snorted.</p><p>“I’d gladly commit suicide if Gaia wasn’t a factor.”</p><p>Damasen’s face darkened. “I know you miss her, Perseus-“</p><p>“You don’t.”</p><p>It was deeper than that, but Percy was too tired to say anything else. Tartarus had done what it did best. It had broken him, that was undeniable. But even broken, Percy could still function, as terribly as he did.</p><p>“I’m sure I don’t.” The Bane of Ares spoke in a soft tone, contrasting his large frame. “But you have to understand that death is not an option in Tatarus, Perseus. At least, not for a mortal.”</p><p>Percy raised an eyebrow. “Sure it is. I could just walk out right now, and I’d die.”</p><p>“You would,” the Giant conceded, “But your soul would be stuck here for eternity as Tartarus himself decides what to do with you. You will not be able to revive like a monster, no, it’d be far more likely my Father would torture your soul with treatments that even the Field of Punishment has never seen before.”</p><p>Percy’s face went slack. Stuck in here, for eternity... that meant-</p><p>“Yes, Perseus, I see you understand. You’ll never see her again.”</p><p>It was bad enough that the Lord of the Dead was currently in so much pain he couldn’t even establish a connection between Percy and Zoe any more, resulting in the two being cut off from each other. It’d been barely a month since then, and the Son of Poseidon was tearing his hair out over it, Quite literally, he would add.</p><p>“How the fuck am I supposed to do it, Damasen?” The demigod’s voice was filled with despair, something the Gigante recognised. “Lugging around a huge, golden statue of Athena, the Goddess who hates me most, while it serves as a beacon for monsters all around me while I try to get out of this fucking place?”</p><p>Damasen shrugged. “If you love her, you’ll find a way.”</p><p>The Son of Poseidon jumped out of his seat, his eyes swirling with madness and anger.</p><p>“Don’t you dare-“</p><p>“I wouldn’t dream of questioning your love, Perseus.” The Gigante watched as Percy refused to back down, but his eyes seemingly calmed. “But I am simply saying. You will find a way, especially if you love her.” Damasen turned back to the cauldron and scooped out another serving of Drakon-soup.</p><p>“Perseus Jackson, if half of what I’ve heard about you is true, well, I know that your love for the girl will prevail.” The Bane of Ares set the ladle down on the rim of the cauldron, leaving the handle hanging, and continued sipping at the hot broth.</p><p>The Son of Poseidon sighed. Gods, he missed Zoe.</p><p>Absent-mindedly, he reached into his pocket. Feeling something inside, Percy grabbed onto it and pulled it out.</p><p>He held the object out in the dim light of the ktichen-fire. In the darkness of the room, he could vaguely make out the shape of it.</p><p>A round, plump figure that sat in his palm.</p><p>Nightshade, he realised.</p><p>“An apt symbol for her, I suppose.” Damasen interrupted Percy’s thoughts as he spoke. “A nightshade berry, Belladonna. Surprisingly, it holds a rather sweet taste.”</p><p>“You’ve tasted it?”</p><p>The Giant nodded. “Poisonous to mortals, but I’m immortal. I used to have a whole garden when I was still a shepherd.”</p><p>Percy smiled, remembering the clump of nightshade berries that sat in the forest of Camp Half-Blood. “I have one too.”</p><p>“Do you?” Damasen questioned, to which Percy simply nodded. The immortal nodded back in approval, knowing some things were better left unsaid.</p><p>“They’re here!” A voice called from outside.</p><p>Percy cursed at hearing Bob call out. He’d forgotten about Polybotes on his trail.</p><p>“I would normally ask Tyche to favour you, but she’s much too useless to give you any luck here in the Pit.” Damasen smiled kindly at Percy, who was now looking around for his possessions frantically, intent on getting the hell out of there. “So I’ll simply tell you this. May you see her again, Perseus.”</p><p>Percy froze, then nodded slowly.</p><p>“May I see you again, Damasen. Just remember me.”</p><p>The Gigante nodded, albeit a bit reluctantly, watching as the demigod sped out of there.</p><p>Damasen sighed. All he could do now was wait as Polybotes arrived.</p>
<hr/><p>Percy sat within the clumps of Nightshades that all bloomed around him.</p><p>He couldn’t sleep any more.</p><p>He couldn’t sleep unless Zoe was there, and tonight, she wasn’t.</p><p>Every time he closed his eyes he could still remember that damned place, and Damasen’s war-cry, and Bob’s wish.</p><p>“Bob says hello,” He whispered, rolling a berry within his palms, staring up into the sky. In particular, he looked at one constellation.</p><p>The Huntress. His Love.</p><p>Then, Percy looked back down at the stretch of land in front of him. As far as the eye could see, there was Belladonna everywhere. Some of the newer campers had questioned their choice in fruit, but none of the elders had. To them, it represented death. The cold, dark feeling one felt when they felt reality slip away from their fingers.</p><p>For Percy, it symbolised sweetness. The sweetness which one felt when they were finally absolved of life. Life was pain; death was sweet.</p><p>The entire plantation had grown so large in addition to the newly built cabins that Annabeth had drawn up a petition to create a “New Athens” to accommodate the population. It was almost identical in ideology to New Rome, though without a legion of demigods. Percy smiled as he thought of little legacies all running around the place while the elder demigods all took care of the rows upon rows of Nightshade, a memory frozen in time.</p><p>He wouldn’t be there to tend to it, though.</p><p>Percy rolled a berry within his fingers. A year ago, he’d been in the exact same position, but his mind had been undecided. Now, the Son of Poseidon could say he’d never been more sure of anything else in his life.</p><p>He grabbed whole bunch of berries from around him; uncaring as several were crushed within his grip. He didn’t bother stopping to think about what the campers would do when they found his body in the middle of this field, nor did he think (or care, frankly) about the potential repercussions of his death on his friends.</p><p>All he could think about was Zoe.</p><p>Percy lifted his hand to his mouth and despite – or maybe because of – what he was about to do, he smiled. An ear-splitting grin, of pure, <em>sweet</em>, brilliant glee.</p><p>Opening his mouth, he deposited the berries into it. And just like how they’d overflowed from his bowl when he was still at Camp Jupiter, Nightshades tumbled out and onto the ground, a morbid decoration of sorts around his soon-to-be lifeless corpse.</p><p>In a swift closing of his mouth and a movement of his jaw, all the fruit in his mouth burst, the slightly tangy yet amazingly sweet taste of Belladonna filling his senses. The copious amount of juices caused them to overflow from his mouth, some trickling down his chin as he tried to swallow as much as he can, Adam’s apple bobbing as he did so.</p><p>Percy’s vision had started to fade as soon as he gulped down the first batch of juices that he’d popped right out of the berries. His grin was still plastered on his face, though, looking up into the sky and as everything else turned black, one thing stood out in his blurred, static-like vision, obstructed by tears of joy and relief.</p><p>The Huntress. His Love.</p><p>“Bob says Hello,” he whispered, though it comes out little more than garbled mumbling.</p><p>(At seventeen, Percy Jackson dies not by the hand of the Fates.</p><p>He dies by his own.)</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. +epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m still pissed at you for doing that.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Percy lies in bed, panting next to Zoe Nightshade. Never in a dozen lifetimes would he have imagined losing his virgintiy <em>after </em>he died, with the ever-stoic Persian Princess by his side.</p><p>“You don’t.” Zoe shuffled to face him, and so did he. “It hurt, knowing you would do that, all for me.”</p><p>“Don’t be,” Percy’s voice little more than a whisper now. “I would do anything for you.”</p><p>“That’s the problem. I hurt you, worse, I made you end your life!”</p><p>The pain in Zoe’s voice makes Percy cringe, slightly, but he knows she’s got it all wrong.</p><p>“Zoe, it wasn’t entirely for you.” She looks confused, but the Son of Poseidon continues. “It hurt to live. Sure, part of it was your death, but...”</p><p>Percy tries to find the words to say, but he just <em>can’t</em>. “It just hurt.”</p><p>The Daughter of Atlas sighed, snuggling up into his side. She’d learned that he’d fallen into Tartarus, and had nearly gone mad from worrying about the demigod. Still, Percy had made his way to her side despite all of this. Zoe wouldn’t probe into it right now.</p><p>“You know, Nightshades taste kind of sweet,” Percy mused. He had a mischeivous smile on his face, even while talking about his own death.</p><p>“Yeah?” Zoe questioned, puzzled.</p><p>“And you’re named Nightshade, right?”</p><p>“Mhmmm?”</p><p>The Son of Poseidon’s eyes shone with mirth, making Zoe narrow hers.</p><p>“You reckon you’ll taste the same?”</p><p>The former Lieutenant of Artemis splutters in shock at his words. Despite her (former) eternal chastity, Zoe Nightshade had unfortunately understood his words.</p><p>“Wh-what?”</p><p>“You heard me.” Percy’s rolled over to get on top of her, taking control – something Zoe found she was severly lacking in bed, though she held onto it rather firmly most of the time. “I want to find out.”</p><p>Zoe couldn’t respond as Percy attacked her neck with kisses fervently, but she found that she really didn’t care.</p><p>She had him in her arms, and she sure as hell wasn’t about to let go.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don't normally do epilogues, but I felt the need to clear it up. Perzoe is cute as heck :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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